My Headaches

Over the years I have gained a better understanding and stronger testimony that we go through and experience different things for a reason. I can’t even tell you how long I have really suffered from headaches. It has been years (during my married life) that I have had bad headaches. In the beginning I would never of thought that they were migraines I just thought they were really bad headaches. I could guarantee that every day I would wake up with a headache. When they were at their worse I would either be ready to pass out, throw up or be crying because of the pain. I think for years I had just dealt with the pain but never done much about it. I think half my problem is my mentality was “just pretend they are not there and keep going”. I often can get myself in the auto pilot mode because I have way too many other things to accomplish and don’t have time to slow down.

Throughout the last year or two I finally decided I needed to get a grip on things and figure out what was going on. Here are a few things I have learned from the experience:
- I was always in pain and was easily irritated. I was so concerned that I did not want my kids to remember me as the mom that was grumpy or the mom who did not do anything with them. I just tried pretending that I did not have headaches, kept going and really tried not to complain. I found that complaining never made the situation better.
- I gained a much greater understanding and appreciate for our Savior and the Atonement. I have to admit there were many and I mean many times I was on my knees in prayer asking my Father in Heaven to take this away from me. I know that it does not work that way, but when you are in pain you get pretty desperate. When I was truly sincere and tried working with Heavenly Father I realized a glimpse of what our Savior suffered for me and the pain he must have felt. That truly helped and humbled me in many ways. Helped me to be more tolerant as well.
- Even today as my headaches are doing better, I know that I need to keep myself humble and realize that I need my father in heaven and He knows all things to help me through my situations. I also need the bad days to help me be patient and be more appreciative of the good days.
- Priesthood- oh how grateful I am for the priesthood and power of prayer. I learned from this experience that Heavenly Father is always in tune with what is going on with his. There were many times I did not even tell Nelson what I was struggling with and the pain I was in but in the blessing he touched on all the thoughts and feelings I was having.
- I learned that stress is something that made things worse for me. I admit I can be a bit of a time freak. I can over budget my time and definitely try to accomplish to much in one day If I ever got to this point I would end up getting my neck and head in great pain.

There are times that I would not say I have loved going through this, but the blessings and lessons out weight everything. What a blessing I have been given to have a stronger testimony and relationship with our Savior. It helped strengthen my appreciation for the gospel and all we go through.

I do still continue to have headaches but have learned better how to control them and be more patient with them. I also want to work through them so I can be me and not feel like I have to pretend that I feel great!